Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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