Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
birth control should be required to get into college
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
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