if you like me you must not know who I am
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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