Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
