I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
