I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Randomize