It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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