i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
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