You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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