Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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