i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Sorry about my life...
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Randomize