Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
