hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Randomize
