last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
there is glitter all over my balls
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
