i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
