is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
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