grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
