But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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