KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
