just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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