Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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