i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
