at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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