He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
