Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
