it wasn't lemon gatorade
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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