I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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