well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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