i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
We need to rekindle our bromance
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Randomize
