We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
