a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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