so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
