he shaved USA in his pubs
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
