Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
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