try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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