bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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