You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
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She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
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THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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