New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
