Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Acid is not a monday night drug
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
