i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
