Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
