yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
