3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
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