Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
