this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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