he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
