3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
