Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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