My girlfriend figured out who you are.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
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