Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
cat food counts as protein by the way
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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