So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
