You were right. It hurts to walk today.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
