does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize
