Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
