Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
