I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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