Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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