scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
