We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
