When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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