CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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