Having a random hookup so left but love u
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Randomize
