All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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