I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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